Grief & Loss Information

The process of spiritual healing is inside-out. We must venture beyond ourselves to reclaim our core and essential selves. In certain respects we must deconstruct what we've become in order to reconstruct what we can be. There is a risk, but oh, what a return!

Nobody will ever be able to replicate the love and care that your parent gave to you during their lifetime. That's what makes your relationship so special, but it's also the thing that makes it so painful to lose.

Some days, the weight of grief bears down so heavily that we have to find some sort of release. When you're grieving, it's okay to vent. You'll feel a sense of relief and clarity after a good vent, whether it's with a friend, your therapist, or simply a blank piece of paper.

Everyone goes through anticipatory grief, yet many still don't recognize it. Maybe that's because anticipatory grief is so intertwined with everything else in our lives. This article defines anticipatory grief, lists symptoms, and ways to cope with it.

It doesn't matter if you were married for 1 year or 50, losing your spouse is one of the most painful losses we could ever endure. Your spouse is your partner in life, your best friend, your soul mate. Having all of that taken from you can leave you feeling lost and very alone.

Some days the pain of grief hits us like a ton of bricks, and for no apparent reason. There's no warning sign, no rhyme or reason for the pain, it just is.

Some people need something more concrete to do in order to take control of their emotions and pull back the reigns. To those people I say, write something.The written word is often just the thing we need to clear our minds and calm our nerves.

There will come a day when the heavy burden of grief will feel lighter. While that is a sign that you're healing, with it comes the unexpected side-effect of guilt. Try to relieve yourself of feelings of guilt by reminding yourself of the love you felt for the departed.

All successes in life, especially when adapting to the death of our loved ones, depends on the quality of our inner life. The quality of that mindset directly depends on the beliefs, thoughts, choices, experiences, and commitment we generate to face the numerous changes that the absence of our loved ones brings. Where can we begin to build habits and routines that bring peace and strengthen our inner life? Here are five starters.

Are you treating your loved one the way you'd want to be treated during your time of grief? The answer will let you know what you need to do.

Not so much physical pain, but the existential pain of living, perhaps of grief or loss or maladjustment, can feel so hard. We need a gentle empathy with ourselves. We need, somehow, a way of soothing our sorrows and sheltering within divine rest.

Confucius said the most important virtues are humility, compassion, patience, and detachment. That lead me to believe that he knew some good Funeral Directors.

It would be a lie to think that accusing God would comprise blasphemy. But many Christians, we can suspect, may feel they have to respect God so much as not to speak a word out of line; out of anger; to not speak their hearts. Why would we hide our words when we cannot hide our desperation and anger?

As there is sombre soberness in the midst of many celebrations, there can be a great deal of sadness associated with Mother's Day. Some have lost mothers, some never had one, some are not mothers when they'd like to be, and others have negative memories of their mothers. There are a thousand and more different facets of sadness, even amongst the happiness of such a day.

When we have lost someone we love so very much there are many dates on the calendar which now impact us in ways that they never did before. There is one coming up.....it's Mother's Day.

After losing a loved one, regret is a common emotion of grief. You can turn this emotion into a legacy of love.

I lost my brother before any of the people I know experienced any type of loss. I was 31, he was 32. He came home on October 20th, and after having a meal at my parent's house - my mom, dad, husband and brother, Stuart said he wanted to tell us something.

The loss of a loved one is one of the most stressful events humans can experience. Many factors influence how we grieve, and age is one of them.

Something I get asked often by those who are bereaved, like you, like me is "Where are my loved ones now?" "Are they safe?" "Are they happy?

Trials come when you think life is at its best. How do we cope up with the sudden burst of frustrations and disappointments?

Throughout the years, the Five stages of Loss and Grief have been well written about and discussed. In this essay, I will elaborate my personal views that extend on the Bargaining stage of grief. Bargaining is the normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability after a death of a loved one that is often associated with the need to regain control. Some common thoughts associated with bargaining can be "if only we had sought medical attention sooner," "If only we had gotten a second opinion from another doctor," "If only I had tried to be a there more".

One of the frustrating factors of life is its rocky nature, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We seem to endure varying seasons ranging from joy to sorrow, and these 'seasons' may vary in length from months down to minutes. Our moods, the states of mental and emotional disposition, can be reflected in five phases.

Old friend? Newly widowed? Widows reach out and create a bond based on experience. A bond as tough as duct tape. What to say?

It's the perfect time of year to get a fresh start on anything. This spring, take advantage of the changing season to help you through your grieving process.

Very few things are as painful or devastating as the loss of a child. There is no love like the love you feel for your child, so to lose that child is nothing short of a tragedy.

How are we to talk in this sort of loneliness that is unspeakable? We cannot seem to get the right words, or even a word, that comes close to describing how we feel. These are the most discouraging of places.

The grief and loss over the death of my husband left me in some kind of way. I am going to tell the truth in love, but the truth none the less. Becoming human again was something that seemed and was so far away from me, I tell you!! Finding out what happened to him, was worse than the shock I felt as a little girl sitting there in front of the TV and watching Walter Cronkite drop his microphone as he relayed the news that President Kennedy had died from being shot in the head!

Grieving the loss of a loved one comes in as many forms as there are people grieving. A significant part of the process of the loss can be honoring this loss, honoring the person who has passed and honoring the self in that loss.

Write to heal the pain from the loss of a spouse. Take 20 minutes for 4 days and write Visualize yourself as a seasoned widow/widower and begin writing to you Imaginary Newly Widowed Friend. Write about ANYTHING related to the loss of a spouse. This writing is not about whining, venting or spewing. This writing is about an objective look at what happened and offers some help to someone new at the game NO ONE wants to play: The Grief of the Loss of A Spouse

The biggest secret in adapting to loss and massive change is to fully understand and strongly believe that it all begins from the inside. Realizing the critical role you must play in your healing, here are three coping strategies that I believe are essential that you master in the aftermath of the death of your loved one. They are based on my 35 years of experience in the field.

It took 50 years to grow and eight hours on Labor Day Weekend to come down. It was the "tree monkey" that first caught my attention bringing down the 80 ft. poplar tree with the skill of a surgeon.

Grief isn't planned and many times an unexpected visitor, but that's OK. When we are wiling to see what is offered, we can move through it more easily.

Everyone who has been diagnosed with cancer feels differently about it. Likely the person is going to be very sensitive about the subject, so it's important to choose your words carefully to avoid hurting their feelings or saying something offensive.

Life guarantees us two things: change and loss, together they make up the unpredictable rhythm of life. They also exert tremendous pressure on the soul. If we don't stop long enough to notice, we'll wake up one day and wonder why the light's gone out of our eyes, and why passion is but a distant memory.

Is there anyone more vulnerable than a child who has just lost someone close to them? Death is a tragedy for anyone, but for children, the death of a family member or close friend can be even more devastating and confusing than it is for an adult. It's hard for them to understand what happened and to comprehend what will happen next.

God's faithfulness stands the test of time. Reflecting on the LORD'S deeds of loyalty we find much that is praiseworthy and thankfulness fills our hearts. This is evidence of our salvation.

Crying is a normal response to death. You may cry for weeks, for months, and then, slowly, your tears subside. But grief can still catch you unawares. You may cry unexpectedly when you hear a song or see parents with their children. This article tells how one speaker coped with her unexpected tears.

What may we say to the struggling spirit forlorn and entrapped in the midst of their harrowing lives? How might we, if it was us, be encouraged? How could we climb up from deep, deep down in redeeming the destiny of a moment's sustained peace from the battlefront?

Hope never occurs when we have nothing of need in it; when faith is not required. Faith and hope *require* a problem. Hope for future rejoicing is laden with faith enough to hope and not give up.

As Job and the psalmist found before us, deconstructing our brokenness is a vital part to our reconstruction. From the experience of the depths we can know ever greater heights.

If you are fatuously in love, and that love is being returned to your complete satisfaction, you won't want to read this. You won't believe it, and it would do you no good anyway. You may have forgotten your isolation. This is instead for those surreally forlorn; isolated, just now, within their relationships and beyond themselves.

It can be so very reassuring to know you are not the only one. It is so very painful to feel that no-one understands. It makes us feel very alone and very vulnerable, as if something is wrong with us. In actual fact what we are feeling is very normal.

When there's precious little to believe in, And our struggles redeem thin air, Faith fortifies our hope, If only we'll hopefully dare. With nothing now to lose, And an untold mystery to gain, Our future inflates with hope, And by faith through which to sustain.

There is a purpose in silent isolation. Such unassisted suffering teaches us, beyond our denial, to look calmly within; there we find God leading us to ourselves. There we see what is in our hearts.

Suicide is a modern public health crisis that claims lives all over the world every year. People who have lost a loved one to suicide often face tremendous trauma and shock with many confusing emotions like grief, despair and even anger with many questions like why did their loved one choose to take their lives, why they were unable to see that their love one needed help they also raise questions like will their loved one go to heaven and for some, questioning whether life is worth living is common. All these factors add to the suicide grief process and...

Sympathy gifts are a great way to show your condolences during your loved one's time of grief. When you can't find the right words to say, let a meaningful gift express your sympathy for you.

We all know the mood we call "feeling low." When we're feeling low, we usually don't have the energy or the inclination to do much. Here are 3 simple things to help you feel better quickly. Give them a try--you have nothing to lose.

When you're not sure how to express your condolences, give a lasting sympathy gift. Your loved one will appreciate the gesture and the fact that you're thinking of them in their time of need.

Grieving is a very personal experience. Since everyone grieves differently, it can be very hard to know just how to offer your support. Give a meaningful sympathy gift and let the gift express your condolences for you.

Many people think of their pets as ordinary members of their family. Losing a beloved pet is a tough loss to bear. Give your loved one a pet memorial gift to show your support and sympathy in their time of grief.

Many people think of their pets as an extension of their family. We feel a connection to our pets, so our pets die, we feel a sense of loss and grief. Express your condolences to someone who has lost a beloved pet with a memorial stepping stone.

Not sure how to express your sympathy to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one? Try giving a sympathy gift as a more personal alternative to the traditional greeting card.

The history of Easter goes back way beyond Christianity to ancient times of myth and folklore. Although Easter is a joyous celebration on the religious calendar, for many it has come to signify time spent with family and hunting for Easter eggs to squeals of delight. For many of you, with tears in your eyes and a deep pain in your heart, there is little meaning, there is little joy.

The pain of our grief is so massive, so huge and so crippling we are struggling to help ourselves in early grief, let alone be able to help anyone else or cope with the demands of looking after our family. It's as if we've been put in a high speed spinner, churned about and then spat out in tatters and tears. Our heart is fractured and we are broken, no longer whole.

Who would have thought 5 little letters could mean so much, but if your world has been thrown into chaos by the loss of a loved one, they mean a lot. Sleep is one of the things that is greatly affected by our grief and is a symptom often of the great upheaval happening in our body, our mind, our heart and our life. ?

The one thing that happens nearly always in grief is the questioning that rages through our minds. I know for myself it was why? why? why?

When we are feeling overwhelmed and consumed by the inconsolable pain of our grief, we often wonder, is this going to be my life forever? Will the pain ever go away? If grief has slammed into our life in a fury we are knocked down, broken and shattered, gasping for breath in a fog of shock, numbness and confusion.

Our missing hurts so very much...every minute of every day. Just to feel their touch and feel their hug. Oh what an indescribable feeling of joy it would be to be able to do that wherever and whenever.

There is no worse feeling in the world than being amputated from the one you love. There is an earthquake between two people, a rift a million miles apart. There seems to be no little thing that can fill the gap and the ache of loneliness that sits inside of you now.

Nobody likes to say goodbye. Nobody likes to leave behind their friends and family. But the inevitable fact is that someday, in one way or another, we will have to bid farewell to those whom we love and care about. We will have to go our separate ways, and just hope that fate will bring us back together again.

Poetry is a wonderful way to express our sympathy when we can't come up with the right words to say on our own. Customize your sympathy gift with a beautiful poem or verse for a more profound statement of condolence.

One of the most challenging aspects of life in retirement is the dealing with the death of friends we consider contemporaries. Coping with loss is never easy, but during retirement, such losses can be especially trying because they reinforce the reality that we have entered a new phase of life, and they force us to come to terms with our own mortality.

A beautiful garden stone is a wonderful way to show your love and condolences to someone who is grieving the death of a loved one. Choose one that speaks to the bereaved and will comfort them for years to come.

? Angel gifts are among the most popular and special forms of sympathy expression. Angels are unique in their universal representation of peace, comfort and a connection to the one we've lost. Whether the deceased is an adult, child or even a pet, we can find solace in the thought that they are now with the angels in heaven and even looking down on us as angels themselves.

Song lyrics can help put our thoughts into words when we can't find the words ourselves. A melody can enhance that message to convey our true emotions. When planning a funeral for your loved one, it's important to put some thought into your musical selections.

Often choosing the person to deliver the eulogy at your loved one's funeral is a natural decision. However, in the event that there is no clear right answer, follow these 4 tips for deciding who should deliver the eulogy.

Grief is as common a human experience as love is, for if we have loved we have grieved. Nobody loves that does not also lose in some way. Loving is about receipt and whatever can be received can be taken away...

This unnamed pain belongs to countless thousands, and, though it's unparalleled in its commonness, we never feel quite as isolated... We receive such pain as a consequence of not having been scarred in a life that scars us all.

Brokenness is only the first part of the story. The next bit - the final word - is best. It belongs to God, who gifts it to us. None of our brokenness is beyond God's healing touch. (Within the article are seven (7) SHORT POEMS embellishing upon hope.)

Within each of our beings resides the pungency and sweetness of memory for what has made us who we are. Experience has taught us a way of viewing our world, and through our eyes we see; through our minds we think; through our hearts we feel. Littered through all this are valuable pockets of sadness.

Are you the parent of a runaway child? Is a loved one missing in Iraq? Did a spouse abandon you? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you have suffered an ambiguous loss. This article describes the loss and specialized counseling for it.

Sadness isn't always readily apparent, but frustration, annoyance and anger or pretending to be happy when we're not may often be. Sadness, potentially, underlies the negative emotions of life. These are times when we cannot control life, and, beyond the logical mind that knows that control isn't the point, we still want to control it. These are times when we're devoid of protection to deny; when we're stripped bare; when we take things honestly but painfully. Yes, when we take pretence away, the soul unembellished, there is sadness. And we can grow to welcome it.

In the opening chapters of 'A Road Less Travelled' by M Scott Peck, the author talks about discipline and how it is this discipline which gives us not only structure in our lives, but also assists us in overcoming difficulties and problems. Discipline here is in the sense of being in control of ourselves and doing what needs to be done before doing what we want to do. If we do what we want to do first, then there is less incentive to do what needs to be done and if what needs to be done is difficult, then it will be easier to put off doing it. If we only do what we want and never do what needs to be done, then our life will devolve into chaos and unruliness. This article takes a look at how being disciplined can assist in healing from a broken heart following the loss of a child.

While in the grieving process, it may feel as though hope has abandoned you. Depressed, you question your purpose for living. You ask, "Why did this happen? What is the point of it all?" You may have lost hope for living your dreams or don't even know what they are anymore.

Most of us are familiar with "normal" loss, the death of a loved one, friend, or pet. A few people know about anticipatory grief, a feeling of loss before a death of dreaded event occurs. Hardly anyone has heard of ambiguous loss, though thousands of people have experienced it. What kind of loss is it? Why is it powerful?

If we were to partake in an activity of group therapy, sharing with one another our thoughts, impressions and experiences, we'd see and learn how broken we are. Indeed, many may already assume this having previously become aware. Brokenness, of this sense, is about coming face-to-face with our experienced ineptitude, acknowledging that in most situations of life we've come up short; not because we didn't care, it was because we were incapable of an adequate response.

Love is one of the strongest emotions that a human being may possess. It is one thing that people value the most. Love is one thing without which survival is almost impossible and that's the reason why people keep yearning for love. But unfortunately, everyone is not blessed with love and doesn't experience a happily ever after. That's when the role of sad love stories comes into the scene.

He lay there dying and muttered the final words as his last breath drew to a close "I love you." Think about this statement, can you remember the final words that your loved one said to you before they moved on to the spirit world.

Not long ago, I was talking to an individual that had lost their spouse, and it had only been about three months and they were dealing with all the grief loss issues, but they didn't wish to consult with a grief loss counselor, or go into any type of psychological therapy. They believed they were stronger than that, and didn't want to feel helpless in that way, and they were going to do it alone. Good for them I thought, that makes sense.

There is a way beyond the regret we experience for not having said or done things differently regarding someone special who's passed away. But better than that, even, is to tend to those concerns in the here and now. Perennial annoyances should be nipped in the bud before it's too late.

Because life can throw us into conundrums beyond sensible recognition, where we're flummoxed for rationale of response, there must be a way to appropriately honour such brokenness of spirit. Because life is this way there must be a way of coping! God is that way.

Times occur when we sit incredulous at what has just taken place, the destruction of something dear, and, but for the confusion overwhelming us, we want to scream 'Why?' The only emotion more prevalent than anger, here, is disbelieving numbness. In the opening to this Maskil of Asaph the psalmist leaves nothing of their bitterness at the door.

Grief is complicated. Sometimes grief doesn't resolve itself and become a chronic state of mind. Brainwave entrainment is a powerful technology that can "unstuck" the grieving brain and help you resolve your grief.

At times it takes a great deal of courage to progress a painful feeling, dredging deeper below into the source of the lament. As we rough up for seeding the earth within the soul, causing angst we rarely feel, we can expect to become undone emotionally. We're unravelling ourselves in order to, at some point, reconstruct a better, more 'stunning' us.

Most married folks spend a lot of time together, and they do everything together. But what happens when that bond is broken due to a divorce, or the death of this significant other? Not long ago, I was talking to a very nice lady at Starbucks, she had been thrust into this situation and was trying to make the best of it.

I just found out that one of my former coaches died. His name was Maurice Hilliard. He was currently serving as the athletic chaplain at Pepperdine University. He was an amazing man. I know he touched hundreds, even thousands of lives as a coach, friend, and mentor. I wanted to take a minute to say "thank you coach" for his investment into my life.

Notwithstanding the benefit of a good anti-depressant medication, there are things we can do, emotionally and spiritually, to address or suppress depressive symptoms, in order to feel comforted or better. This is the important thing: to feel we have some control over our day; even if that control is minuscule, but meaningful.

A truth held to, in this case, to know we're being proved through a tempest, in order to become more patiently resilient and spiritually durable, means we're getting something to that which we must, without doubt, endure. Certain storms happen, and have happened, and will happen, and there's nothing else we can do but see them as a phenomenon growing us into the people of God.

After a loss, there are certain things you should do to stay healthy and less stressed. One of those is eating right. This article lists ideas for you to follow to keep you going while you are recovering.

We may worry that if we start crying we may not stop. We may fear our ability to function is too vulnerable to risk. We could even despair of the feelings, and the pain, that arise when we enter into the maze of lament. All these worries are reasonable.

It has often been a source of much wonderment to me that we have such little insight into an area of life that is common to us all. Perhaps this is a reflection on our society and its particular taboos. But since we all die, and most of us will experience the death or bereavement of one or more people close to us, it's a good idea to consider the most "real" and "honest" way to act when someone dies.

On helplessness, joining a grief support group, losing your mother, losing your father, complicated grief, and losing a parent in young adulthood. Grief and loss is married to death and dying. The stages of grief can be seen as running parallel to the stages of dying. The dying person must let go of everything in her or his life, from the material to the physical process of breathing. In tandem, the grieving person must let go of having the person they love, admire, and depend on. When someone has a life threatening disease, they may go through a time of fighting for life. Many times this works, and life continues. Sometimes, the fight is not successful, and there is a shift from fighting to dying. The grieving person is in the position of following along. Neither the dying person nor the grieving person can control what happens.

If you have lost a loved one then maybe you will agree with me that coping with the aftermath is different for everyone and for this reason there really cannot be any written material that gives a guide about how we should cope. The purpose of this article is to share some thoughts that come from the university of life which we all have to attend. Reflecting on my experience I tend to conclude that women who are said to be the weaker sex are in fact the stronger sex when it comes to bereavement.

One of the central reasons faith in God is so important is it's our proactive way through and out of difficulty. The formula is simple. We all struggle. In our struggles we should resort to prayer, for this language of the soul is not just communication to God, it's communication to ourselves about how we're truly feeling.

Suffering is part of the human condition. We can't avoid it. Have you noticed that some people suffer more even with the same or less dramatic issues than others? Those that suffer less have made a shift in perspective away from victimhood to seeing a larger picture. They practice expanding their awareness to include knowing themselves, their real needs, and learning to meet them. Let me share a part of my early journey to illustrate this shift in consciousness necessary to shrink the amount of suffering you experience. Included are some insights I learned recently at a retreat.

There's one thing about loss that's not hard to agree on: most significant losses involve ongoing, searing pain. They're ever real within our experience. They remind us of the same truths, again and again, that happened to us. And they may be relived anytime.

This article discusses the meaning of the term closure and the danger of making it a goal of healing. Just getting over the pain is both undesirable, and if pursued, quite harmful to lose learning to live with a loss. Those who which help people who are suffering a loss are asked to provide the freedom and patience needed to allow mourners an opportunity to re-define their relationships with those they have lost.

There is nothing more important or powerful in our lives than our faith. I have had a wonderful experience about a presence more powerful than ourselves. I have seen the movies, books and specials through out the media world about life after death, God, the Divine Source and Heaven.

It may seem silly to think that we go through the grieving process at the end of a sport season. Of course it is not even close to losing someone we love who has died. But we need to pay attention to the stages of grief as we transition out of season so we can move on properly.

Everyone goes through hard times. One of the hardest times is putting a loved one to rest. That's why there are funeral services available to take care of all your needs so you can grieve appropriately without the added stress.