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Divorce Information |
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How Can Collaborative Law Be Beneficial In Your Texas Divorce?
Collaborative law is based on the realization that the commitment by the parties in a family is that it is in their best interest to avoid going to trial. This process relies on open and honest communication and cooperation between the parties and their lawyers to achieve a fair result. This is a revolutionary approach to law, and legal professionals from all over the country are flocking to Dallas, Houston, and Austin which are the cities leading the way in developing this new approach to solving family law problems. When a husband and a wife agree to handle their divorce through collaborative law, they agree to identify the goals, values, and interests of each parties. Both the husband and the wife maintain control over their decisions and how their family will make this life transition. The collaborative law process takes dispute resolution to whole new level. Texas is at the national forefront of this exciting new way to solve family law problems. Our normal legal system uses an adversarial process to settle disputes. Collaborative law attorneys abandon this process, and instead use "team approach". What does this mean for a couple in the process of a divorce? Instead of playing alot of "legal games" which end up costing everyone alot of legal fees, both parties and their lawyers agree to cooperate and share the information needed to achieve a fair property settlement. This process is used for couples who both do and do not have children. If necessary, the parties agree to use neutral consultants such as CPA's, Appraisers, and sometimes Mental Health professionals. In spite of all the jokes you hear about lawyers, we really do CARE about our clients. We care about their pain, their frustration, and we care about helping to protect their kids from the "fallout" of this emotional period. We also care about the financial cost of divorce. The less parties "fight", the less they have to pay their attorneys, and the more money they have to divide between themselves and/or spend on their kids! Not certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. This article is designed for general information only. This information is not intended to be legal advice. Consult an attorney for before making any legal decisions based on your individual circumstances. Marilyn Gale Vilyus is a houston family law lawyer practicing in divorce, child support, child custody, and divorce mediation. Law Office of Marilyn Gale Vilyus
MORE RESOURCES: Everyone we knew felt we had a solid marriage. I had succeeded in kidding everyone, including myself, that my life was fine. Flexibility is KEY to successfully navigating divorce. The most flexible person in any specific communication will be the one most likely to get what they want from the communication. If you decide you want to stop your divorce there are many ways you can do it. If the two of you changed your mind on separating, how you go about stopping it will depend on what your states rules are and what stage of divorce preceding you are in. Maintaining parental rights and a relationship with your children while being obstructed by parental alienation takes a proactive approach. You need to have a clear mind on what you want out of a court order and a determination to obtain it. Are your children worth it? Dealing with life after separating from your spouse. Learning how to get it together, face a few facts and move on. Picking up and starting over with the best outlook possible. Whether you are a man or a woman, getting back into the dating game is not for the faint hearted. Here are some tips to get you feeling confident about your dating skills... Since most people have never interviewed an attorney before, this week's article will give you some insider secrets to choosing the best representation for you. AND even if you've already selected an attorney, I'll bet you'll learn something valuable too! Too often parents discount the depth of the feelings their children have when they get a divorce. A serious misconception is that older children feel the split much harder than little ones do. That's been a common theory up until now when researchers at Georgetown University discovered that the opposite is true. Smaller children under the age of 5 are the ones who suffer the most negative effects of their parents' divorces. I've been reflecting on how much I've enjoyed being a single divorced mother the past 9 years. Can it be challenging? Yes! If you and your spouse have been experiencing marital problems, you may be looking at what options you have to rectify them. A counselor may have broached the road of separation and divorce, but is the difference between the two and which is the best option for your family? There are actually a number of differences between separation and divorce, but either one could provide the closure that you and your spouse so desperately need: A divorce is, more or less, the end of a marriage. Many of us never take time to take care of ourselves, and this leads to even more stress, which catapults to even more stress. I would love to show you a good habit to get yourself into, to reduce your stress, and stop the cycle! It's time to let yourself breathe easy. Birthdays are usually cause for celebration and yet with divorce can come awkwardness surrounding important days like birthdays. This week's article has some suggestions to take the awkwardness out of these types of important days. Does this sound familiar? "We live in separate worlds." "We never talk". "All we do is argue about money." The love has gone from our relationship." "I don't love him/her anymore." "When the kids are gone, so am I." These days roughly half of marriages end in divorce and around a third of first marriages eventually break down. There are many reasons why a marriage may end, so what are some of the main underlying reasons for couples splitting? Name calling is demeaning. So often times when we get hurt through the divorce process that we revert to being grade school kids and begin calling... Life events happen. There will be good times and there will be times when life is challenging. This is the cycle of life that happens to everyone without exception. Many people have to go through the painful ordeal of filing for and getting a divorce. Part of the process is hiring a competent separation lawyer. If you do that, half of your job is done. An ideal lawyer has the characteristics given below. Has your marriage or relationship become a train wreck? You are miserable and see no hope for your situation. Of course, you are still thinking of your significant other all the time, and are completely lost without them. You said things, they said things...how do you recover from that? Well, you can because not every situation is completely hopeless. Going through a divorce can be a very traumatic experience. This is the main reason why it is very important that you make sure that you want to do it before actually going through the proceedings. You have to understand that you will be subjecting yourself to severe emotional and mental stress throughout the entirety of the divorce proceedings. Parental Alienation in child custody cases. Recognize it and avoid it. Today would have been my 22nd Wedding Anniversary; our divorce was finalized a few weeks after our 13th anniversary. I find that when the calendar flips to this day each year I focus less on my divorce and reflect more on my hopes and dreams on my Wedding Day, so many years ago. Children can be the biggest victims when parents are facing a divorce. They have no say and may feel they are the cause of issues. It is our duty as caring fathers to show our children how to go on after a divorce through compassion and understanding. Are you the leaver or the one being left? Both sides have their own roller coaster of emotions to ride. Discover how these emotions affect the actions of both and how you can stop your roller coaster ride! If you need some help getting child custody, you will need to prove your parental fitness. But you can also show your ex is an unfit parent. Like any other other state in USA, California has its own divorce laws. One needs to have better understanding of the law and legalities before filing the divorce papers. How connected are you to the people around you? Your connections with the world around you are based on how dependent, independent, and interdependent you are. Read more to discover where you are on the "-dent" continuum and find your true power! Do you know a failed marriage is something that you should be grateful of rather than thinking that it is the end of your world? It is not always a bad thing to go through a failed relationship. Getting a divorce is actually a sorrowful and challenging process. Neighbors, friends and family members will present both needed and unwanted divorce help no matter if or not they've undergone it themselves. The dating scene is nothing like it used to be. Re-entering can be downright intimidating for those of us in the 40+ crowd. The wedding bells chimed and 'They Lived Happily Ever After'. After two years of dating a man, he proposed and it was only natural for me to accept. What is holding you back from finding your true happiness? Is fear of the future ruling your life? In this week's article I will show you how you can appreciate the past and anticipate the future. In divorce there is a presumption that you know the value of what you are keeping and what you are giving away. It is called informed consent. How do I prepare and become informed? Divorce affects everyone in the family on a large scale. Whether you are the one that left the marriage or not, there are hurt feelings between the both of you. Beyond our own difficulties, our children have a propensity to suffer far more than we do. Children tend to internalize their feelings and not share the hurt or blame they may be feeling, making learning how to go on after divorce impossible. There are many complications to divorce and going to special occasions and family events can bring great stress to one or both parties. Weddings seem to cause the greatest stress more often than not. Many times, certain family members will side with the one who was on the receiving end of the divorce. Parents should make every effort to work together to create the custody arrangements for their child. Working together to reach an agreement is the best way to create a successful visitation schedule for your child. If the end of your marriage is imminent and you are considering filing for divorce, you will likely have some critical choices to make. Suggestions for dealing with this stressful time. If you want your life to be different, the first place you need to start making the difference is in your thoughts. This week's article suggests ways for you to change your thoughts to have more of what you want in your life. Dating can be one path to pursue on how to go on after divorce, but most often is used to overshadow and smother other feelings that may be present from our ex. Moving on is important, but not as important as moving on at your unique pace. When going through a divorce, there are many unfamiliar aspects you will encounter, dating being one. Dating can be an excellent distraction or a wonderful step towards progress and recovery. It all depends on your intentions and emotional stability. Regardless, it's an important stage that can teach you how to go on after divorce. Having lunch with one of my girlfriends earlier this week, I was sharing some updates on areas of my life since the last time we saw each other. We both have an interest in spirituality; so it is with joy that we enjoy sharing our faith journeys when we get together. Whatever the latest book or experiences we have typically dominates our conversation when we get together. No matter how hard we try as couples and therapists, some marriages are going to end in divorce. That saddens me, because it's not that hard to save most marriages if people will change just a few things. Things such as becoming a better communicator, a more positive person, or even a more sober person. Successful relationships are the backbone of a successful life. Why is it that half of all American marriages end in divorce? Looking back at the statistics, the biggest catalyst in the rise of divorce were the laws allowing no-fault divorce. From 1960 to 1980, the divorce rate more than doubled from 9.2 divorces per 1000 women to 22.6 per 1000. Since that time, the divorce rates have remained high, but what are the reasons for this high rate of divorce? Sometimes having too much idle time on your hands when you are first learning how to go on after divorce can have negative effects. Too much time to think unhealthy thoughts and beating yourself up for irrational reasons come too easy and to often after going through a divorce. I know this because I have been there. One of the core beliefs I brought to the marriage was that it was a woman's job to hold the family together. It just seemed to make sense. During our marriage, I had many experiences that confirmed my expectations on this point. When I would leave for a day or two, I'd return to find that everything was out of order. The kids had survived on cereal, there would be at least one major injury, they'd "accidentally" watch the evening news, resulting in numerous nightmares, and Dad would let them crawl on the roof to remove leaves from the gutters. If you suspect that your spouse/partner is reconnecting with a former girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, through Facebook, Classmates. Then you need to confront them immediately. The longer you delay the more damage there will be and the possibility of your marriage will come to an end is likely. Confronting your spouse is not a bad thing - doing absolutely nothing is. "I can't do it anymore" were the first words my friend stated when I answered the phone this week. There comes a time for many of us going through a divorce when you just want to throw in the towel, leave your life behind and go on a month long vacation. As appealing as it sounds, it's just not practical and you know it. Divorce happens around the world. In the U.S., the rate is 50 percent based on current statistics. An international research on countries with the highest divorce rates, Belarus topped the list with a rate of 68 percent. Russia, Sweden, Latvia and Ukraine followed to complete the Top 5 list. Going through a divorce can be a painful time in your life. Here are a few thoughts that may help you as you deal with this phase of your life. Divorce can be a tough and painful process. Nobody can go through it the easy way. But then if your decision to end your marriage is final, you have no choice but to face reality and get on with the divorce process. The first thing to do while you are considering divorce is to talk with an experienced family lawyer. Once you have set up a meeting with your attorney, start making a list of questions to ask him. The questions you ask will help you understand the divorce process better, also, whether the lawyer is suitable for you and your case, how the attorney and his overall office operate. I've learned that when I don't know what to expect or when a situation is completely changed, I can still become overwhelmed. I've also noticed this is true for my clients too. The less certain we are about something, the more easily we can become stressed out and overwhelmed. This week's article is all about how to overcome overwhelm. Sometimes nothing can be done except embrace change and allow it to happen. To be able to see the good through it all can be priceless. I believe that most people have an end goal of wanting an amicable divorce. Not just to keep the divorce cost down, but also to maintain a healthy... How many of us want to blame others for our past mistakes, even when we know we have been wrong? I think we all have. Learn how to correct that behavior in a positive way. While divorce is difficult for all parties involved, it can be particularly hard on a woman for many reasons. It's very important that once the course towards divorce is set, she outlines the steps she is going to need to take in order to cross back over into life as a single. Have you decided that your marriage is over? Learn how to end your marriage as painlessly as possible. Have you decided you want to divorce your passive aggressive husband? You need a game plan that is prepared for all his tactics - guilt tripping, tantrums, threats and all. Making the decision to leave a passive aggressive marriage in search of a happier, more fulfilling life is always painful and confusing. Here is your help to process this crucial decision. Many married couples own a business together, but when the marriage goes bad, the business could be in jeopardy. If you and your spouse own a company and are considering divorce, you need to know the many options available. You have probably heard about some of the most common causes of divorce. These often include mistrust, lack of communication, and financial issues. But there are some common causes that you might not immediately think would lead to divorce, yet they act as the nail in the coffin for many marriages. Separated parents need to set a peace precedent early on, and to do whatever they can to ensure that precedent prevails over the remainder of their lives. It's not only the kids who will benefit, but having kids to another person will mean this ex-partner is in our lives for a lot longer than we would often like. Ex-partners should learn to get on. A divorce is certainly not the only solution to a troubled marriage. If you are no longer with your spouse, this advice will help improve your chances of reconciliation. Also, you will get advice on coping with marital separation. If you want to destroy self-esteem there is nothing better to do than get a divorce. You just aren't good enough and your self esteem is completely decimated. In order to move on after the divorce you need to rebuild your self-esteem. Some people say that divorce has become too easy. But many divorcing couples have tried repeatedly to fix their troubled relationship before acknowledging that it is no longer working. Let's look at some of the top reasons for getting a divorce. Are you stuck in a bitter divorce fight? During divorce couples often get caught up with their perceived injustices of settlement negotiations. The disdain that they personally have for each other usually just adds fuel to the fire when negotiating. When parents breakup the kids usually suffer, they love both parents and on some level probably blame themselves for the parents breakup. Since it is usually the man who leaves the home this places an extra burden on him not to leave scars. This is true even if custody is to be jointly shared. It is not that easy looking after a child alone, after a divorce. You have to learn how to manage your office, home and children and give equal and sufficient attention to everything every day. While there's proper training to handle responsibilities at the office or home, it is not actually possible for you to become a good parent. However you can at least learn how to handle the basics of parenting to the best of your ability through online parenting classes. This is one way to look at how you functionally divorce. It's about the responsibilities you had, have and may choose to explore in the future. If you are considering divorce but still have to live with your spouse for now, you should remember the importance of not arguing in front of your kids.If you want to avoid hurting your children's chances at success in life, you should learn how to deal with a spouse who insists on arguing. If you think your spouse may be cheating, you should get some evidence before you accuse him or her. Once you have the proof, you should proceed to either a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer. If you are going through a breakup or divorce, I know it can be a very stressful time, you may be feeling a range of emotions from feeling hurt, anxious, scared, angry, frustrated, or depressed. You may be having trouble sleeping, or not sleeping at all. Use the strategies here to make it easier and help you get through it. Financial reasons are never just about money. Freedom always comes at a price. Only the person making the decision can know if their freedom is worth the sacrifice they will have to make to gain it. People stay in bad marriages for all kinds of reasons. As long as it keeps a marriage legal, one reason works as well as another. Any reason is enough. The reason you have a reason may be hidden right now but terribly important. You may be glad one day you didn't act when you weren't sure you should. If you have decided that getting a divorce is the right move for you, it is time to tell your spouse about the decision. You cannot continue with the case or with life in general until you have informed your spouse about the divorce, and it is important to do it right. Many couples go through rough patches during marriage, and as long as both people fight to save the relationship, divorce can often be avoided. However, there are certain signs that indicate that divorce is on the horizon. This holiday season so many of us will be looking back over the past months hoping to make sense out of the things that have happened and gain the understanding and learn the lessons that will make the next twelve months better. Divorced couples and their children often reflect on the past with hopes of gaining this insight and forging new traditions. There is one way to bring the holiday spirit into your home and heal old wounds. Divorce can be one of the hardest experiences that you go through in life. Some spouses are able to coupe with divorce and adjust to the fact that it is happening in their life, while other spouses have trouble dealing with these marital changes. Divorce affects us all differently, this can especially be so for couples who have children. children often feel that they are the reason for the divorce. It is very important to reassure your children, that the divorce has nothing to do with them and that both you and your spouse love your children. In any divorce, parents must create a workable agreement, known as a parenting plan, on raising their children together despite being separated. When one parent must move out of state, it forces changes to the existing parenting plan and visitation schedule. Out-of-state custody arrangements often mean that the children live nearly full time with the custodial parent, and then visit the non-custodial parent. Such visits are generally held less frequently for longer durations. This is my variation of that great quote from the Jedi Master Yoda "Do or do not; there is No Try". His message is quite simple... ? You're working hard at moving forward in your life; but you still feel like you're not making any headway. You're at that spot where you're frustrated; not sure what to do next, and just ready to give up. We've all been there at one time or another. The workplace of files inside the state in which the separation was granted would possess a duplicate of one's divorce records. Thus, no matter when you request these files you have to contact the records office in the state where the separation and divorce was granted. There exists a process which needs to be followed while putting a demand for the information. If you are headed for a divorce that you do not want, you can rest assured that you still have a chance to work it out. Just do not give up hope, it will be difficult and feel like it can't be done. By using the correct techniques you would be surprised with how many people have saved their marriage. Divorce is surely one of the hardest decisions you will ever have in life. You and your partner have gone through a lot together, spending quite a long time in each other's companionship, sharing the same group of friends, mutual finances and the children that you have both promised to look after until they're old enough to look after themselves. The single most challenging aspect of life is coping with abandonment. Usually experienced in the form of divorce, abandonment leaves us reeling in a state of crisis. Although impossible to avoid, there are several ways that we can cope with the initial impact of separation. The following names have been changed to protect anonymity. The day you come to acceptance of what your divorced life IS, and IS NOT, you will finally begin your journey of emotional peace and serenity. Let me explain. If you are dealing with a marriage break up you may be feeling overwhelmed. There is a lot to think about and it can be difficult to know where to start. If you are confused about what is going on then take some time to slow down and sort it all out without being too emotional about it. Working out child custody is hard enough without adding the challenges of one or both parents serving in the armed forces. Custody complications can arise when circumstances related to your military career arise, such as a temporary transfer, mobilization or even deployment. Learn the ins and outs of preparing a military parenting plan to protect your parenting rights and provide for your children's needs Children love their parents equally and whatever the reasons for a husband and wife to want to end their marriage and go their separate ways, it can not be forgotten how this will impact and affect the children. Children are hardly ever to blame for a marriage failing. And often they are the innocent victims who lives are completely changed because their parents have decided to split up. You might be thinking of getting a divorce for many reasons. It could be that you don't feel you are compatible with your partner anymore, you have both grown apart, or your partner has been unfaithful, or your attempts at starting a family have not been successful. Should we treat divorce as a business transaction and leave our emotions behind? Read more about the business of getting divorce. According to the survey held in New York, it was found that out of 14 million children, around 27% those who are under 18 years of age are spending their life only with one parent and around 4.5 million of them are living with their biological parent or with step parent. Traditionally, spring is the season of renewal and new beginnings. I know it can be hard at times to imagine a new beginning when you're going through divorce. To help you remember that you are at a new beginning and that it can be great, this week's article is about changing your focus from endings to beginnings. If you are getting a divorce, one of the main questions on your mind may be whether you will receive or have to pay alimony. The only way to know for sure is to hire a divorce lawyer, but it is good to find out the possible issues you may need to resolve before settling the matter. Feeling great about yourself when you're in the midst of a divorce is usually a challenge to most people. However, learning to feel great about yourself despite the circumstances you are in is something I want most for my clients and for you. This week's article gives you a great way to give your self-esteem a boost if you notice that it's a bit deflated. There isn't much help out there to assist men getting through a divorce. With the negative stigma society places on men for showing their emotions, we tend to try to figure out things on our own. This can be a long and painful process. Many times we are alone in sorting out our own feelings and can have a difficult time understanding them. Simply put, there will be days where divorced life sucks! These are times when you may start wondering 'Did I make the right decision divorcing him?' Celebrating a holiday can leave you feeling stressed, but that strain can become magnified when you are a divorced parent trying to juggle your children's holiday custody schedule. Create a detailed holiday custody schedule within your parenting plan. That way, you can minimize frustration and develop strategies so that you, the other parent and your children can remember good times instead of conflict. There are many factors that can cause anger in a divorce. Being a parent means that personal feelings have to be put second to the ongoing welfare of the children. Sometimes a couple can achieve a solution between themselves; other times a professional third party may be beneficial to the process. As we continue on the journey of moving past your divorce, there will be times when you'll be uncomfortable with your new single life. These are times when you need to reflect back on your journey and take a look at how far you've come since your divorce papers were notarized. Moving beyond your divorce isn't all lollipops and sunshine. For couples entering into marriage as well those coming out the other side, emotions run high for contrasting reasons, however it is always worth getting to grips with a few key legal concepts to make the transitions smoother. Mediated & Collaborative Divorces A particularly expanding side of divorce law and procedure is the area of mediated and collaborative divorces. These processes aim to ensure that conflict and hostility are removed from divorce (for the sake of the individuals involved and their families) and that the parties concerned work together as much as possible to achieve... A friend of my wife called to invite my wife for a wedding shower. I picked up the phone Was I surprised? No, not so much. But when I was passing the news to my wife I remembered that their older daughter was married already less than a year ago. She was 20. |
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